by - Wednesday, May 24, 2017

DISCLAIMER: Some vulgarity. 

Before anything else, I know that I am not in the right place to complain anything about life because obviously there are thousands of people having a hard time with theirs and they are doing their best to survive living with it. I just can’t help not to rant/complain about mine, it’s eating me alive and I want to just release the pressure and stress in me. 

This is from a perspective of a challenged student who has a problem with everything (except for food).

My college experience so far summed up in two sentences would be “I am freaking done. I want to graduate now.” I still have a year left before I graduate so let’s not get ahead of ourselves and start congratulating me since I effin’ survived my past three (torturous) school years of college. Regardless of all the shit that has happened, I know to myself that I am not ready yet to face the real world, A.K.A adulthood (a.k.a the heavy stuff). Let’s be real, adulthood is full of surprises. There’s a fifty percent chance that it’s bad, good (or just tolerable). 

I feel like shit because I literally want to fast forward the incoming academic year and graduate already, but I am hands down not ready to deal with the responsibility (though I know that I can't just ditch it if I want to have a good life) Damn, I am such a bizarre fuck. But do you get what I’m trying to say here? 

And there’s the other reason why I want to fast forward the incoming academic year. Our university calendar is pure a-s-s. I really can’t put into words what I’m feeling right now but shit the major change that had happened made everything fucking complicated for me and some other students. Why didn’t they gave us a one month notice about it? Instead they gave out the announcement fucking three weeks before classes start. Yes, our classes will start in June. Now all the seniors, including me, will strive to send out applications for our internship before school starts. I am beyond desperate to make our classes start in August though I know that it is impossible because they might have already posted the academic year’s calendar for 2017-2018 when I publish this. All I need to do is cry it all out because my life has been challenged once again. 

Other than that I guess something great happened this month for me, we have finally moved houses. Praise the Lord hallelujah. Apparently our new house is hours away from university so that’s a hassle. I haven’t adapted yet to the new commute so let’s wait and see. I bet I’ll be freaking late to class, but the thing is I am never late. Legit for the past three years I’ve been one of the students who comes half an hour early for class. Well my house back then was only forty-five minutes away so that’s the reason why I’m always early. I don’t even care anymore about the travel time, I’m just super glad we finally moved away (from the urban life). Makati girl no more. It’s time for me to embrace a new environment. 

I got hired to a part-time job I applied when summer started but, never got the chance to actually do the job because we were handling a lot since we've moved. It was okay though because at least I experienced what it’s like to apply for a job –that took fifteen hours to process. Now I know how hard it is to apply for a job. Hello life after graduation, are you happy. 

Realization time. Life will never stop from giving you challenges because that will determine your path in life. All you need to do is learn to adjust and work your ass off to get over it. That’s what I should be doing. Wow something good actually came out of this post. Being scared will only make you weaker than you are now, Shauna. Stop doubting yourself and live the life your momma gave you girl. I am literally talking to myself now. Nice. 

ANYWAY, I’m loving Khalid’s American Teen album right now!! My favorites are on replay. Also Lany is giving me the chills, ILYSB and Like you lot’s, oh my, smother me with love please. 

Leaving you with all of these.
P.S I’m coming back soon. 
P.P.S Sorry if I complain a lot. 

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